Ultimately, the decision of when to become intimate is up to you and your partner. But it’s important to understand that intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s also emotional and psychological.
Some people follow the three date rule, while others think it’s best to wait until the fifth or sixth date. Whichever approach you choose, make sure you’re both comfortable and happy with your choice.
1. The Three-Date Rule
Many people use the three-date rule to determine when it might be a good idea to become intimate. It’s the Goldilocks approach to dating: “not too early, not too late.”
Depending on your goals, this rule could be useful for setting boundaries or ensuring that you don’t just want a quick fling with someone. It also gives you a dating framework, making it easier to know what to expect over the first few outings.
However, it’s important to remember that the three-date rule is a guideline and not a requirement. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding when to be intimate, and your comfort level should be the main factor.
Besides setting your own boundaries, it’s important to understand that your partner may not be as comfortable with the physical side of things as you are. It’s vital to be honest with your date about what you’re looking for and make sure they are on the same page.
If you’re unsure about how to have the conversation, consider getting matched with a relationship coach online. They’ll help you navigate this part of your relationship, giving you insights and lessons from real experts. It’s a great way to ensure that your relationship is healthy and happy. Click here to get started! It’s free for the first week.
2. The Six-Date Rule
A common rule of thumb is to have sex after three dates. This is a reasonable guideline that gives both people time to see if they feel a spark or connection. It also allows them to decide if they want to continue dating and if they are interested in becoming intimate. However, it is important to remember that all people are different. For example, some people may be comfortable having sex after a first date, while others might prefer to wait until they have been dating for months.
Some people might argue that the three-date rule is outdated and holds women to a sexist standard rooted in problematic Madonna-whore paradigms. However, it is important to recognize that sexual stereotypes are prevalent in our society and that many of them are harmful. It is also important to note that a relationship doesn’t necessarily become official after a certain number of dates, and it can happen at any time if both parties are ready.
Jacob Lucas, a dating expert who makes a living helping people in their relationships, believes that the old-fashioned three-date rule has some merit. He said that the sexy talk on the third date can help people determine if their partners are monogamous or open to monogamy, and it also helps them decide if they want to be intimate for a short period of time, like a couple weeks, or longer – such as in a long-term relationship.
3. The Eight-Date Rule
It’s important to remember that the amount of time you spend with your new partner is completely up to you. Don’t let other people or dating gurus pressure you into doing anything that doesn’t feel right for you. If you want to take a slow burn, that’s fine too. It’s not about the number of dates that makes a relationship official, it’s about when both of you are ready to move at the same pace on the Relationship Highway.
There’s a lot of confusion out there about when it’s appropriate to have sex in a new relationship, with some experts saying it should be after three dates and others claiming that you need more than that to make it work. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what feels right, and it will vary from one person to the next.
However, if you’re struggling with how long to wait before intimacy, it might be helpful to consider the eight date rule. It’s based on the concepts in The Gottman’s book Eight Dates: Conversations That Can Change Your Lifetime, and it outlines a series of questions you can ask your partner during eight lively conversations about everything from trust and commitment to conflict and money. These topics are a key component to healthy relationships, and addressing them early on can help you avoid future conflicts that might damage your love for each other.
4. The Ten-Date Rule
It takes a while for people to develop true feelings for one another. If you’ve made it to ten dates, you should both know that you are invested in one another and can make a commitment to exclusivity. You also have time to wind down any other romantic interests you may be holding onto.
In an age of swiping and hookup apps, it is easy to get swept up in the excitement and momentum of dating. But, rushing into intimacy before the relationship is fully developed can lead to heartache and disappointment.
Having a ten-date rule gives you plenty of time to see your date in different settings, meet their family, and perhaps even sleep over at their house. It will also give you a chance to understand their living situation, which can say a lot about their lifestyle and values. Everyone has gone out with someone who seems sexy and mysterious, only to discover their living arrangements are a bit unconventional.
The ten-date rule is not meant to be punitive or harsh. However, it is a good way to set boundaries for yourself and your new partner. In the end, it is up to you and your partner to decide when you are ready for sex and intimate relations. However, if you are not making it to the ten-date mark, it is probably best for you to move on.
