Whether you meet for pastries and sundaes or opt for a nice dinner, it’s always polite to thank your date for their time. This will make them feel valued and respected, even if you don’t think the date went well.
Ending the night can be awkward even if you had a great time. Here are a few tips on how to make it a bit less so:
1. Thank them for coming
Often times when a first date goes poorly, it’s hard to end things in an appropriate way. A simple text such as this will do the trick without making your date feel too rejected or unwelcome.
It shows your appreciation for the time they spent with you and also gives them a reason to stay in touch. This can help you start a new conversation with them, like asking how their day went or complimenting their looks. It’s always better to be kind and thoughtful when letting someone go than it is to play games that are ultimately doomed to fail.
Even if you’re not interested in seeing your date again, you should still thank them for coming. It will help you avoid any awkward situations or confusion later on when you’re trying to set up another date or get in touch.
If you are not interested in your date, it’s still polite to send them a text saying you’re thankful for the opportunity and wish them well. You can also mention something that stood out to you from the date, such as a funny story or song they shared. This will let them know you’re happy to have them in your life and won’t hurt their feelings if you don’t see each other again romantically. It will, however, leave the door open for a platonic friendship.
2. Ask them if they’d like to see each other again
If you think that the date went well, and you really enjoyed getting to know this person, then it makes sense to ask them if they’d like to see each other again. It’s not rude to do so, but it’s a good way to gauge how they felt about the date and give them an opportunity to say yes or no.
It’s also a polite thing to do, especially if you picked up the tab (which is traditionally the man’s responsibility). So before you leave for good, let them know that you appreciate their hospitality and the time they spent with you.
As you’re walking out together, hold their hand and gently squeeze it. If they squeeze back, that’s a good sign that they enjoyed the time as well and are open to seeing each other again. If not, that’s a perfectly acceptable answer as well.
You can also try asking them this question in a special place that means something to you both, such as where you first met or a restaurant that they love. This adds a bit of romance and will make them feel that you really put some thought into your decision. It also shows that you care about how they feel, which is a big turn on for women. Plus, it’s the perfect excuse to bribe them with a chocolate bar or flowers!
3. Ask them if they’d like to get to know you better
Asking your date if they’d like to get to know you better is a way to open the door to another date. But be careful—using this question in an interview-like manner can make your date feel nervous and uncomfortable, and may cause them to answer with vague, generalized responses. Try to keep the questions lighthearted and conversational, so your date can relax and open up more easily.
A simple, polite goodnight hug can go a long way, especially if your date gives it back. It shows that you enjoyed yourself and were a pleasure to be around, and that you’re willing to give your relationship a chance. Guys can also try complimenting their date’s appearance, but be sure that it’s sincere and not just an attempt to butter them up. Most people have well-honed bullshit detectors that can tell when you’re trying to flatter them, so be honest and straightforward.
You can also try asking your date if they’d like to continue the conversation on text, where you can share more about yourself and them at your leisure. It’s a great way to take the pressure off of your date and allow them to decide what they want to do next. Plus, it’ll be much easier for you to end the conversation if it’s not going well.
4. Say goodbye
Sometimes, a first date doesn’t work out. This can be for many reasons, from the person’s inability to carry a conversation to deep-seated beliefs that are dramatically different from your own. Regardless of why the date didn’t go well, it’s important to know how to end it without hurting your date’s feelings.
Generally speaking, you want to thank them for their time and for meeting up with you. It’s a nice way to show your gratitude and may even make them feel better about the evening. You can also tease them a bit, letting them know you’d love to see them again and that you enjoyed their company. However, be careful not to overdo it, as this can come off as condescending.
Of course, if you really don’t want to see your date again, it’s best to be honest. Tell them that you had a great time and that you’re not sure if the two of you would be compatible as romantic partners. Be sure to avoid calling out their flaws, as this is rude and will probably only make the situation worse. If you feel comfortable, you could always suggest that you two meet again as friends instead. However, if you don’t think this is a good idea, it’s best to just say goodbye and leave them alone.
